Tag Archives: Sean Berkowitz

Meeting Sean Berkowitz

I almost met Sean Berkowitz once. It was at a party in Washington DC in December, 2006. He and his fellow hacks convicted Jeff Skilling and Ken Lay earlier that May, so when I got the invitation, I thought I really should go. It was a big stupid affair with lots of government types (FBI) and what looked like the entire Chicago US Attorney’s office and a couple of people I recognized from 555 4th Street.

Big crowds make me very nervous; I’m actually quite shy and the whole thing felt wrong the minute I got there. I talked to a few people I knew and someone handed me a glass of wine and I began to drink it.

I am a very cheap drunk. Half a glass of wine and I’m dancing on the tables with a lampshade on my head. So two drinks in, I spotted Berkowitz. Bethany McLean was not with him. He was alone, distinctive, sort of a hulking guy — not attractive in my estimation.

But as I stood there, sipping my drink, watching him, I began to imagine a past for him. I could see, for instance, that he worked hard. That he tried. And you have to give it up for men who try — it’s not as prevalent as it should be. That was as far as I could go: I could think of nothing else redeeming about him. He seemed so ordinary but not in the ordinary magnificence of people like Jeff Skilling. He was just ordinary – even with the people orbiting around him, there was nothing that made me think he is somebody.

There are Enron executives I’ve met who are utterly magnetic; they’re like movie stars and you sort of get giddy being around them. They’re the dude behind you at the bank. The guy buying milk and pancake mix at Safeway. But even these guys, you pause because there is something that makes your brain snag, thinking wait, I think I know him….

Berkowitz, for me, was not like that. He completely blended into the population. It is also true for Doug Wilson, the US attorney who argued for the government during Skilling’s first oral arguments at the 5th Circuit, and Kathryn Reummler. Those are the only three ETF prosecutors I’ve ever met or seen, and there is something so utterly ordinary about them. They try hard. But they’re ordinary. And I think they know it.

After I left the party, I went with a few FBI guys to another party and Berkowitz was there. I had enough to drink that I was feeling brave enough to walk up to him and say something – just sound him out, maybe – but when I got close, his eyes lit on me and I just kept walking.

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Premature Ejaculator Sean Berkowitz Gives Award to Other Bloviating Lawyer

Sean Berkowitz, the mouth breathing premature ejaculator, recently presented Warren Lupel with its Distinguished Service Award at the 2010 Fellows Award Breakfast. Pictures can be seen here.

What bothers me so much about Berkowitz, besides the fact he used his wife’s book as a guidebook for the trial, is that he’s utterly amoral. He tried Jeff Skilling and Ken Lay using the most disgusting tactics and he was rewarded for his bad behavior. He is a literal example of why Karma doesn’t exist.

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Bethany and Sean “Still Fighting Bad Guys”

Gag me.

Journalist Bethany McLean and former Assistant U.S. Attorney Sean Berkowitz are still battling the bad guys.

She’s the former Fortune reporter who busted open the Enron debacle and co-wrote “The Smartest Guys in the Room,” a best-seller that became a movie. And he was the lead prosecutor who put Jeff Skillingbehind bars. Now, Mr. Berkowitz is a litigator at Latham & Watkins LLP.

The couple created buzz on Wall Street for appearing chummy within days of the trial. And Ms. McLean acknowledges that “they’ve been together ever since.”

They married and live in Chicago with their toddler (and have another baby on the way).

This week, Ms. McLean begins promoting her new book, “All the Devils are Here,” about the current financial crisis.

The book, which she wrote from the couple’s home, puts a human face to the crisis. Countrywide CEO Angelo Mozilo plays a key role, for example.

I talked to Ms. McLean for my Taking Names column in this week’s Crain’s Chicago Business. She had just wrapped a book-launch party with friends —including David Hoffman, the U.S. Senate candidate who lost in the Democratic primary.

“You can see the story of the financial crisis in an analytical sense and look at mortgage-backed securities or risk-management tools,” she said. “But in the end, the story is always about people.”

Yep. Smashing people.

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Googlelicious: Searching The Enron Task Force

I am pleased that I’m on the front page of several of the ETF’s google results. It warms my cold, cold heart. Or it would if I had a heart.

I have to say I’m more than a little amused that google picked up my break up letter instead of any of the other Berkowitz posts. But that’s just as well, I think. I rather like having that as the fourth link.

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Gratuitous: Hey Berkowitz, When Bethany Pulls Out Do You Guys Cuddle?

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Nacchio Re-sentenced This Week: Berkowitz Pleads For Leniency

Sentencing Law and Policy lightly commented on the Nacchio case, which is due to be re-sentenced this week. I’ve been semi-interested in the case only because Sean Berkowitz, prosecutor of one Skilling, Jeffrey K. is now defending Nacchio. From the Sentencing and Law Policy blog:

In a court filing pushing for a lighter sentence, Berkowitz portrays Nacchio as a charitable family man who has already suffered enough. “He has lost his career, his livelihood, his reputation, and his freedom,” the filing states. “His life has already been forever changed.”

Oh.

Wait. You mean Jeff Skilling wasn’t a charitable family man who has already suffered enough by losing his career, his livelihood, his reputation, his freedom and his family? Berkowitz is pleading for three and a half years for Nacchio’s insider trading conviction. Yet when he was prosecuting Skilling, he demanded that justice be done and we chop up Jeff into little pieces and feed him to alligators. Okay, maybe not that extreme, but it might as well have been.

I think this just goes to show how soulless the whole process is and how “justice” is whatever you can bargain for – it is less the merits of a case and more the didactic skills of the respective attorneys. Berkowitz wasn’t concerned that Jeff go away to prison for twenty-four years because he believed that Jeff was a threat to society. He wanted him to go away for that long to prove what a great attorney he was. Likewise, now that he’s on the other side of the argument, if Nacchio gets a short sentence, he will call that justice.

It is insidious how little actual guilt or innocence has to do with whether or not a person goes to prison and for how long.

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Enron Game Theory: Other People’s Shoes

When I was in college, studying for my engineering degree, I took a course in Game Theory. I fancied myself actually quite good at it; it was one of the few “masculine” courses I actually felt quite capable. Game theory is essentially taught by setting up a game: the players, the rules, goals and the payoffs. Obviously, one must know one’s goals before one makes choices. One needs to think not only about his own payoff, but others’ payoffs. Thus, we should put ourselves in others’ shoes and try to predict what they will do. This is the essence of strategic thinking.

I had forgotten this somehow. I guess when you are in college, lessons are being hammered at you every day, and problem-solving is your entire context. In the real world, we become complacent, forget what we know, and simply wander through our days like ghosts of our former selves.

I guess when I remembered this very simple point, something illuminated for me about Enron. I talk quite openly of the motives of the Enron Task Force – career advancement, recognition – but I had glossed over it so quickly, I left out the nuance.

In the case of Jeff Skilling, the basic task force was made up of a team of nine members. The number grew and shrank over time, but that was the core number of ‘players’. They were all very different people and though I (and others) tend to look at them as a group – The Enron Task Force – in actuality that thing does not exist. Nine very distinct and strong egos were constantly clashing for dominance. They were every bit as aggressive as they accused Jeff Skilling being while at Enron. There is nothing wrong with that kind of aggression, but it is does leave scorch marks. So instead of asking myself what “The Enron Task Force” got out of asking a certain question of Jeff Skilling or Dr. Lay, or using a certain strategy against them, or interpreting (possibly innocently enough) a document, I must make it more personal than that. “The Enron Task Force” might have teamed on things like over-arching strategy, but each one wanted to shine and so I think to really understand them, you have to take them person by person.

It is quite possible that Jeff Skilling simply was not playing the game correctly. He was playing a different game, and he simply didn’t recognize it. His goal should not have been “to prove his innocence” as I think he did quite well. His goal should have been to defeat each individual prosecutor by correctly guessing where that prosecutor was going and frustrating his efforts. On the stand, Skilling let down his guard for a moment, and Berkowitz attacked. Recall back when Sean Berkowitz asked Skilling, in that oh-so-snarky way, if he’d spoken to his jury consultant during the break. Consider the payoffs for Berkowitz asking and keeping silent. There was no drawback to him asking the question. If he didn’t ask, Skilling would have continued to look unflappable and calm. If he DID ask, Skilling would have to give up a bit of territory and look momentarily guilty because apparently jurors don’t like jury consultants.

Skilling’s mistake was allowing himself to believe that truth mattered at all – thus “proving his innocence.” He had underestimated Berkowitz at a crucial time and Berkowitz went in for the kill.

He did it again when he asked about the check Skilling had written for his former girlfriend to help with her company. Skilling, by his own admission, was not prepared for that question. His attorneys had not prepped him on it and he was caught completely off guard.

To Berkowitz, this was a godsend. All he had to do was ask questions out of nowhere, and Skilling was suddenly at sea. The payoff was enormous. Berkowitz was achieving his goals of earning a conviction NOT by trying to prove Skilling’s guilt but by focusing very narrowly on reasonable doubt, by serving it up in tiny increments over a period of days.

Jeff saw the game as an epic battle between good and evil. Berkowitz saw each question of his cross-examination as a tiny battlefield, in subtle, small bite-size pieces.

I believe this might account for some of the difference between the Corporate case and the Broadband case. The broadband defendants were highly technical individuals, used to thinking through problems logically. On the stand, they were generally well prepared. (Scott Yeager was not; his attorney did not even prep him, preferring to have his answers be spontaneous.) But I think they also heard the question behind the question – the penumbra of questions that could follow a single question. This explains why they were not caught in any big gotchas. The prosecutors were possibly not as quick-thinking as Berkowitz to try to knock them off balance, or they were simply playing the same game as the defendants and it was pretty well matched.

I am remembering now when I told one Enron executive about a personal issue I was having. I told him that my adversary had “completely destroyed me.”

“Of course he did,” the man said, “you gave him the means to do it.”

It was an obvious truth but I’d never thought of it in quite the same way before. It drove home the essence of game theory. Remember who your playing with; keep their end-game in mind. This is more than just playing devil’s advocate. This is understanding their goals and motives on a much deeper level.

I stand by everything I’ve ever said about Sean Berkowitz. But I’d also like to add that for a completely immoral person, he played the game very well.

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Gratuitous: Ruemmler & Hueston Chat

Kathy Ruemmler: Oh no… I think I smell my vagina.
Sean Berkowitz: Do you smell something?
Kathy Ruemmler: I think it’s my vagina.
John Hueston: Oh, I thought it was mine.

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Sean Berkowitz Campaigning For Senate Hopeful

Sean Berkowitz and other former US attorneys are shilling for David H. Hoffman for US Senate. Hoffman, who was most recently the inspector general for the City of Chicago, is seeking the Democratic nomination for the Senate seat currently occupied by Sen. Roland Burris.

I wonder what inspired Berkowitz to open his wallet for this guy. It seems to me most of his money – and certainly his big celebrity case prosecuting Jeff Skilling and Ken Lay – happened under a Republican administration.

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Prosecuting Your Way To The Top

A short and not very thorough article at Boardmember.com illustrates (in broad strokes) the phenomenon of “prosecuting your way to the top.” Guiliani is mentioned, as is Sean Berkowitz.

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Gratuitous: Hey Berkowitz, When Bethany Pulls Out, Do You Guys Cuddle?

bethandsean

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Sean Berkowitz & Bethany McLean Settle Down

The vacant-eyed doll and the drooling neanderthal have bought a house.

Sean Berkowitz and Bethany McLean bought a 4.5-bath home at 1713 N. Wood St. in Bucktown from Lucas Properties & Construction Inc., for $720,000 on Feb. 17.

The 3,477-square-foot house was built in 2007.

Woo.

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Tenth Circuit Upholds Nacchio’s Conviction; Prison Likely Very Soon

Law Blog has the dish on the affirmation of Qwest CEO Josep Nacchio’s insider trading conviction. While upholding the conviction, the Court also revoked his bail, so Nacchio is likely headed to prison in the very near future.

Something I find interesting is that Nacchio was represented by Latham & Watkins’s Maureen Mahoney. Mahoney successful argued Arthur Andersen’s case before the Supreme Court, which unanimously overturned the convictions.

Furthermore, Latham & Watkins is also the law firm of record for Sean Berkowitz and until she offered a job in Obama’s DOJ, Kathryn Ruemmler, both of whom are former Enron Task Force members.

Additionally, Cliff Stricklin, lead prosecutor at Nacchio’s trial, was also a member of the ETF.

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Press Release: Cara Ellison Corp Teams With Enron Task Force For Good Cause

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE –

Cara Ellison Corp. is proud to announce that the company will join the Enron Task Force in a once-a-year philanthropic telethon to wipe out Sean Berkowitz Disease, also known as Cro-Magnonism.

“This is one cause that both Cara Ellison and it’s ostensible enemy – The Enron Task Force – can really support,” said the Chief Executive, Cara Ellison. “There are few things more tragic than seeing people afflicted with Sean Berkowitz Disease.”

Sean Berkowitz Disease is defined by a drooling, Cro-Magnon appearance, terrible table manners, golddigging (ie, living off the funds of one’s wife) and, of course, chronic premature ejaculation. Victims of the disease also suffer from bathwater-temperature IQ and the inability to speak without spitting.

“Though it sounds quite shocking that Cara Ellison Corp. would actually cooperate in any way with the Enron Task Force, we can all agree that the world needs to eradicate this horrible genetic disorder,” says Ellison.

To put an end to this horrible disease, Cara Ellison Corp. is sponsoring a gala affair to raise money for more research. If you wish to help, please call Cara Ellison Corp at 800-FUCK-ETF.

CONTACT
Perry Kanaly
Cara Ellison Corp.
perry.kanaly@cecorp.com

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Obama Promises To Unite Skilling, Berkowitz

Late Monday, while speaking to a group of defense attorneys in Saginaw, Michigan, the Democrat presidential nominee said that the US can become what it used to be only by looking ahead with a unifying vision. “If I am elected president,” Senator Obama said, “cats will get along with dogs. Pimps will again respect their hos. And Jeff Skilling and Sean Berkowitz will once again find the deep mutual respect they shared, forged by a common education, before a certain legal action – undertaken during a Republican presidency – divided them.”

Mr. Obama then urged abolishing the divisive legal system we have now and replacing it with a system which promises to unify prosecutors and defense attorneys, defendants and plaintiffs, judges and attorneys.  After the speech, supporters of Mr. Obama explained that his ideas for creating a peaceful law system demonstrates his strengths as President. When asked how Mr. Obama could possibly accomplish instilling unity in a system that was set up for conflict, one supporter simply shook his head and said, “You must believe.”

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