The article amuses me, and I can’t really explain why. There is something about the comparison that just seems ridiculous to me. All our lives we’re told not to compare yourself to others. The race is long, and in the end it is only with yourself. And all that jazz. But the tabloids, and increasingly even reputable publications, seem to really enjoy fostering these rivalries.

I don’t claim to understand it.

Since his arrest two and a half years ago, Allen Stanford has been assumed guilty, and he’s been compared to Jeff Skilling. In most media reports, the similarities between the two are too compelling to deny: both lived in Texas and both were accused of financial crimes. Those two merest wisps of coincidence are plenty for journalists and pundits, who have gone stir crazy in the last twenty-four hours to squeeze Skilling’s name into the narrative. A particularly galling example is here, the website of the local NBC affiliate.

Hitner promised the potential jurors that the trial will take no longer than six weeks, but prosecutors and defense attorneys have said they will each need a month to present their cases. Stanford’s attorneys say they expect the financier will testify.

KPRC Local 2 legal analyst Brian Wice said putting Stanford on the stand is a bad move.

“Think back, the last two defendants in high profile white collar crime cases that took the stand — Ken Lay, Jeff Skilling. We all know how that movie ended,” Wice said.

This is a casual line but I think the fact that it was so easily tossed out there says something about how Skilling and Lay really are viewed by most people. It is interesting to me that Wice called it a “movie”. Jeff Skilling and Ken Lay were not actors. They were not in a movie. Only their visages, meant to represent evil, were on display in The Smartest Guys In The Room. There was no actual “Jeff SKilling” or “Ken Lay” in that movie. That movie illuminated none of either man’s interior life.

And yet this “legal analyst” who really should know better, fell back on the easiest, laziest, most irresponsible metaphor possible. Furthermore, it is a lazy comparison. Just because Skilling and Lay testified and were not successful doesn’t mean that anyone who does will have the same outcome. The fact that Skilling and Lay testified and were still found guilty should not frighten innocent defendants; it should enrage them.

But Wice isn’t alone and I don’t mean to single him out as a bad guy. Most people probably rely on the same weak thinking. So Mr. Wice can take cover in the group – he is just one of hundreds who are speaking the same lines, reporting the same point of view, and reinforcing the same tired old cliches.

I’ve watched just about every one of his debates and interviews on YouTube; I am partial to the debates. We in America are actually not exposed very often to honest debates. Traditionally, a debate has a motion and each side puts forth his best arguments for or against it. There is a thrust and parry,a genuine exchange of ideas. Presidential debates are basically press conferences in which each candidate has his own parochial concerns and simply recites his talking points. The candidates are expressly forbidden to speak to each other; they must go through the moderator. This makes no sense at all. It doesn’t clarify the issue for either side or for the audience. And late night tv programs in which guests yell back and forth is not a debate either; it is the adult equivalent of a schoolyard shoving match.

Trials, however, are the only place two people can actually spar back and forth. It is not a perfect analogy of a debate, but it is at least something. It satisfies a need to hear people actually discuss an issue instead of screeching incomprehensibly. This might be why I am so fascinated by them.

Besides trials, the only time I’ve seen actual good debates are when Hitch gets up there and starts talking about “celestial North Korea” and “Biblical myths” and so on. Again: don’t always agree with him, but there is something beautifully compelling about the way he will argue his ideas. His freshness, his nonpareil use of language, his historical reach are all just wonderful to witness.

I was talking the other day with a friend and realized that Enron is literally the only subject I believe I could competently debate with Christopher Hitchens. I think I could hold my own in a real debate with him. I would be scared speechless, but once I finally came out of the shock, I could probably put forth some ideas he might go for or walk him backward into a corner.

The desire to discuss Enron with intelligent people – even if it can’t be Hitch – is why I have my blog. It is why I delete the comments of morons who blather a series of insults. That kind of nonsense is boring to me. If you’re going to say something about Enron, for god’s sake, make it interesting and compelling. The subject deserves that respect.

* David Bermingham gave testimony on January 10, 2012 to a committee investigating extradition. As usual he is smooth as butter. Check it out here.

* Quite possibly the strangest Enron comments I’ve ever heard can be found here. Such as:

Like so many things, it all started with Enron over a decade ago. Because of their fraud, Enron got so bloated with cash that it didn’t know what to do with it all. So it started buying up the naming rights of things. First the building that its offices were in became known as the Enron Building, although Enron wasn’t the only business that had headquarters there. Eventually, it bought a sports stadium just to have its name everywhere it could. Other businesses followed suit.

Well, okay then!

* Enron creditors get a 53% payout, which is about $21.8 billion. At what point can we declare the company officially dead? It has been ten years, which I believe is long enough that there are no more victims (if there ever were.)

* Loren Steffy is still bloating about Enron.

* Some moron has basically accused Andy Fastow of trying to take down Hugo Chavez. If he had, Fastow’s face would be on Mt. Rushmore.

On the other hand, Mulgrew sounds utterly charming. For example:

‘Look,’ I said, speaking more quietly. ‘I’m not from around here, and I ain’t trying to be disrespectful. But I’m not part of your battles, and I won’t be part of your Brotherhood. I’m a Scot, from Scotland. I’m British. I play football and eat chips.’ Embarrassingly, they were the only British credentials I could muster.

Check out the article and pre-order the book here.

Pat Shortage has been elected or appointed the new Minnesota GOP chair. Mr. Shortage, according to the tards writing the webpage, apparently was a lobbyist for Enron. I am curious why some are so sensitive about this. People have to work, right? Why not be a lobbyist for Enron? And it isn’t like he was ever accused of anything nefarious. But no matter. When there are political points to score and Enron enters the conversation, you can be sure that facts are the first casualties.

MN Publius has learned that Mark Kennedy’s campaign manager, Pat Shortridge, was the senior lobbyist for Enron! Wait, it gets better, [sic] he was also a key player in the secret energy talks with Dick Cheney in 2001 as Enron’s representative. Pat Shortridge’s title was Senior Director for Federal Government Affairs [Roll Call 5/10/01] and was the go-to guy for Enron in Washington D.C. This information can be confirmed with the United State Senate’s register of lobbyists.

In addition to working for the poster boy of Corporate dishonesty, Patty worked for no other then [sic] Dick Armey as his Press Secretary and Director of Special Projects. Wow, quite a track record.

Having worked with Dick Cheney, Enron, and Dick Armey, Shortridge earns, at the very least, honorable mention on the GOP’s All-Corruption Team, 2000-2010.

If everyone who worked at Enron was corrupt, who were the victims? If only working there means you’re corrupt, why have all 20,000 of them been able to find new jobs?

Dummies.

It was by any measure a truly gracious response to the reporter’s questions. But the report was full of snickering sarcasm and left one with the feeling that a Christmas effigy was in order.

Incidentally, Sherron Watkins defended Andy Fastow in that article. She stated something to the effect that Jeff Skilling was the real bad guy. I can’t remember the exact words because every time she opens her mouth, she sounds like the Peanuts character’s teacher. Wahwhahahahaha.

I bristled at the reporter’s usage of Watkins in the report. Who cares what she thinks of Andy Fastow? And hasn’t she graced us with her opinions on everything from Jeff Skilling’s competence to the United States’ prosecution of corporate crime? Maybe it’s time to shut her pie hole and go away. Her expiration date was about ten years ago.

I am tired of hearing from Sherron Watkins at all about anything. But I am also frustrated by people jumping all over Andy Fastow without thinking – and I include the corpulent moron in this statement. Andy Fastow and Jeff Skilling were both persecuted mercilessly in the media. Both were accused of things they didn’t do. Andy has rejoined society and officially speaking, the DOJ has no problem with him so we shouldn’t either.

I fear that Andy Fastow is going to bear the brunt of the Enron collapse, and that isn’t quite fair. Even if he stole $100 million from the company, it would not have been enough to topple Enron. The liquidity crisis wasn’t caused because he took all the cash, as some people seem to think. He is not a choir boy, but it is far too easy to put all the blame onto him. It is too simple an answer. And even if he is guilty of everything you believe, the least you could do is leave his wife alone.

From: Dave Overton
Sent: Wednesday, July 05, 2006 12:27 PM
To: Beucke, Dan
Subject: [NEWMANPR] – Why the demise of Ken Lay?
Dan,
One of the top reasons why CEOs get fired is “Denying Reality.” In milder cases, a CEO will quit rather than let a horrible truth puncture their fantastical views. Or they’ll blame their workers or board. They’ll craft all sorts of psychological defense mechanisms to avoid shouldering culpability.

One could argue in Lay’s case that the truth he would be forced to confront (bankrupt company, displaced workers, destroyed nest eggs, prison, etc.) was so horrible, and so unavoidable, that his body simply shut down rather than confront a terrible reality.

Lay’s death may be the equivalent of a child sticking their fingers in their ears to avoid hearing something bad. But a lot more final.

Mark Murphy is CEO of Leadership IQ, a Washington, D.C. based management consulting firm. Mark has some interesting thoughts on the demise of Ken Lay and how others can avoid his fate.

Please let me know if you would like to speak with him.

Thanks for your time.

Oh my goodness. In addition to the frankly hideous writing, this is just so classless it would poison me from ever wanting to interact with him. Ever. Ever ever ever.

Mark has some “interesting thoughts” on the death of Ken Lay?

I am sure that whatever these “interesting thoughts” are, they are probably cheap because they’re recycled all over the internet and through-out print media. This Mark person needs to hire a better PR firm. Just yuck.

Ackman asks how can you avoid loses and earn an attractive return over time? Ackman’s answer is that you don’t want to be jumping from one company to the next. Instead, Ackman says, pick a company that you can own forever. In other words, if the stock market were to close for 10 years, you’d be perfectly happy with this investment.

You mean like putting all your money in Enron stock? This is just plain horrible advice. If anyone tells you to lock in your stock with one company forever, run. And I was careful about this. I re-read it several times, thinking surely nobody can be this careless after Enron. But it specifically says, “you don’t want to be jumping around from one company to the next.” Which means you want to keep a really narrow portfolio, which means you’re going to end up holding the bag when that company tanks.

Don’t do it! Remember Enron!

Gary Mulgrew. I want him to call me – from Scotland – and recite the poem “Daddy” by Sylvia Plath. It is very important that he actually be in Scotland. It is not enough that he is Scottish, he must be located in Scotland when this happens. Furthermore, I have a very complicated relationship with the Scottish accent. I barely understand it and yet it drives me crazy! Have you seen A Fish Called Wanda? Remember how Wanda went crazy at the sound of Russian? That is how I feel about the Scottish accent. I chose that poem because it is my favorite poem, though not particularly suited to a masculine reading it, nor a Scottish accent. I think that can only increase my enjoyment of it. After writing this out, I am starting to wonder if perhaps I too am difficult to shop for.

Rex Shelby. I would like some of your patience and stamina. You fought the DOJ for eight years. I figure you have stamina to spare.

Giles Darby, I ask that you force Twiggy to return to England.

And last but not least, I want a joint gift from Jeff Skilling, Ken Rice and Kevin Hannon. I want them to remake this video, and I’d like Eminem to replace T. Pain.

I give so much and ask for so little.

In all seriousness, my best present is that I get to write about something I care so much about. I hope that everyone has a Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukah!

To Jeff Skilling, I give freedom. I give him the ability to go wherever he wants, see whomever he wants, and never look back. I give him the company of civilized women and men, and I restore to him the full range of his experience and emotions.

I have two presents this year for Ken Rice. First, a motorcycle. To my amateur eye, this one looks quite amazing and innovative and super fast.

Secondly, since we know that he loved Ferraris while at Enron, I found a way that he can keep one close to him forever. A crashed Ferrari smashed down into a coffee table:

After his prison sentence, Kevin Hannon pretty much vanished off the radar, but I don’t think he’s really gone. I keep expecting to hear that he has done something amazing. So for the man who, in my imagination, is always arriving, I give a Gulfstream g650.

To Rick Causey, I give a lifetime membership to the Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida.

The formidable Gary Mulgrew is quite difficult to shop for. What do Scottish people like? And what would he like? I’ve come to the conclusion that every Scot must have a castle from which to fight the English to save the English from the English. Is that not what makes you a Scot in the first place? Therefore, I give you Skibo Castle. I hear it freezes winter, so do bring thermal underwear.

David Bermingham, being English, owns the whole world. Empire much, David? But since I do love the English, I give a promise that we will stop sending semi-talented American movie stars to England and letting them adopt horrible faux-English accents. Oh, and also, you can have Spain.

For Giles Darby, who seems like the quintessential English gentleman, I give tea with the Queen.

To Rex Shelby, I give an adorable puppy.

To Joseph Hirko, I give the Hawaiian phrase for “you’re my hero.” And a small Hawaiian island.

To Scott Yeager, I give a velvety quarterhorse.

To William Fuhs I give a satellite named after you.

To Tim Belden, I give LL Cool J who will sing “Going Back To Cali” anytime you wish.

These are answers to the Lay It On The Line survey, organized by executive. In other words,comments made about Andy Fastow, Greg Whalley, et cetera are aggregated. I don’t know quite what to make of this yet. My first impression is that it reads like a bunch of very catty people unloading all their grievances. For example, the comments under “Greg Whalley” sound like they were written by a high school sophomore. Under Ken Lay, someone complained about the carpet. After I read a bit more, I’ll have a better opinion but right now it just seems like BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Lay It On The Line Survey Results