My best girlfriend, Nicki, reports that the DOJ is seeking mentally unstable attorneys.
Sayeth Nicki:
Are you mentally challenged? Have mental “conditions” or partial / full paralysis? The DOJ seeks you! It wants you! It’s targeted your “disability” as one that’s obviously lacking at the department, and therefore it will likely be pretty easy for you to get a job there! Our country also needs dwarves, psychos and people with missing limbs.
If you think I’m kidding, I’m not.
The Justice Department needs you!
This is what we’ve come to in this country. Skills don’t matter. The ability to do the job is secondary. Your scabs, shortcomings, deficiencies and other flaws will give you a leg up. Not your abilities. Not your hard work. Not your smarts. Hell, the DOJ apparently doesn’t want brains! It’s specifically looking for the mentally challenged!
Granted, the candidates will apply for non-attorney positions, but still… if you’re a midget, a loon or any other applicant that would otherwise qualify for the job you will have specific hiring preference over those who weren’t so “lucky” as to be afflicted with missing limbs or mental deficiencies.
Nicki also has the actual job announcement on her site, so do check it out.
And remember, these are the guys prosecuting you. The mentally retarded are desired by the DOJ to prosecute you. Just let that sink in for a bit. Also: John Kroger is likely one of the first affirmative action attorneys hired under this brilliant plan.
