CPAC

The first day of CPAC was a disappointment. I rolled in around 11am and it was pure chaos. After getting my credentials I called my pal John Hawkins. I’ve known John Hawkins from my blogs for ten years. I repeat: TEN YEARS. I had never actually met him though. When he answered the phone he said he was at a private event with Senator Jim Demint and I should come up. He gave me directions, and I wandered through the teeming crowds trying to find the place. Incidentally I saw Victoria Jackson, formerly of Saturday Night Live, currently of Jesus, talking animatedly to a lot of people:

Pretty quickly I found the Super Ultra Top Secret room where Jim Demint was hanging out. I cruised in and paused by the doorway, taking it in. I’m kind of shy around new people, so I wasn’t going to plunge into the room and yell, “What up, bitches?!”

I heard identified John’s voice. Then he turned around at one point and saw me, and waved. It smiled and dipped my chin. It was a nice moment. While he finished up chatting with his harem of women who would hang all over him for the entire time I hung out with him, I took a few pictures. This is one of John talking to the Senator:

John came over, all gregarious and talky, and we hugged. He asked what I was doing and I said I was going to leave (I had only been there about twenty minutes total.) He asked why and I said, “I don’t really know anyone here.” So he grabbed Emily Zanotti and introduced me (she seemed to recognize “Right Thinking Girl”), as well as several other people, and then a left wing blogger whose name escapes me. She was very nice – I wish I could remember who she was. Anyway, John was going to get Lefty Blogger some media credentials and I was going to leave, so he asked me to walk down with him. We left the Senator and walked down to the main reception area. As we were walking down the hall, we had one of those moments of crazy serendipity that make me so happy. I ran into a guy I met a few days ago at a happy hour when I was hanging with my pal Nicki. Ivan is a cool dude who works for a cool think tank. But he was utterly confused when he saw me with the Lefty Blogger; from his perspective, it must have been totally out of context. He looked from her to me and then back to her. She hugged him and said hi and he looked at me again.

“Don’t you recognize me?” I asked.

He said yes, and said my name, and we hugged. This is Ivan (he’s wearing someone else’s credentials):

Ivan and the Lefty Blogger apparently knew each other pretty well. While I was standing there, some girls came up to John Hawkins to say hello. They were staffers from Senator Hatch’s office, and they were very nice. One girl asked who I was with and I said, dismissively, “Oh, I’m a blogger.”

She asked what blog.

I froze. Do I say I write the Enron blog? Or do I just shut up and say, “I write political stuff”? I said, “I write the Enron blog.”

She looked really surprised and asked a few questions. She asked if that was ongoing and I said yes, there were still appeals going on.

Then John said he was pressed for time and if Lefty Blogger wanted her creds, they had to go. John grabbed me to come with and I said no, I’m leaving. He said okay and I waved goodbye.

Ivan was about to leave to go back to his office. We walked around until we found his think tank’s booth. During that time, I saw a lot of booths that dealt with the integrity of marriage and was reminded that CPAC had dis-invited GOProud and felt really disappointed in them. There was also a weird event last night that made me feel like there is something very wrong with the Republican party right now. I am conservative but I barely understand some other people who proclaim to be the mouthpieces of the Republican Party which is supposed to be the home of Conservatism.

Anyway, Ivan grabbed his jacket at the booth and we walked out. The air was cold and bracing. The sky was sheer blue. A lovely Washington DC day. As we walked to the Metro, we talked about our friend, Nicki’s boyfriend Rob, coming this evening after work. Ivan asked if I was coming back for that. “I dunno,” I replied. “It all seems kind of lame to me.”

He explained that around 6pm, they break out the hospitality suites and free drinks. I said I’d be back at six to party with him and Rob. However, I was struck with a headache and didn’t make it.

I will go back tomorrow but … I dunno. I’m not looking forward to it. There were about nine kajillion booths about illegal immigration (and believe me, it is a problem) but I saw none about the plight of businesses in today’s America, or Obama’s class warfare, or a sensible tax structure.

I’ll try to get some good pictures. I’m definitely hitting the happy hour with Ivan, Nicki and Rob. I expect there will be better pictures from the happy hour than CPAC itself.