John Hawkins at Right Wing News and Conservative Grapevine has inspired me to make an offer to anyone willing to accept.
I would like to be waterboarded. If you are skilled in the waterboarding arts, I want to talk to you. I would like to be waterboarded, on film, to demonstrate that even an ordinary girl with no experience at these things can handle it.
I’m also willing to undergo sleep deprivation, sustained positions, and being locked in a room with a caterpillar.
My offer is sincere. I really want to do this. If you have first hand knowledge of waterboarding – exactly the kind of waterboarding that the CIA did to KSM – I would very much be in your debt if you were to contact me. I’m willing to do this no matter your political orientation, whether or not you believe it’s torture.
My only requirement is that every second of it is filmed. Any takers? Anyone at all?
Okay, fine. If you are so hell-bent, I offer to lock you in a room with a caterpillar.
But I will avert my eyes from the horror, I tell you. I will.
Hahaha! I know, it’s awful but that’s what those horrible torturers did to Khalid Sheik Mohammad! They did!
I am willing to do this for my country.
Wasn’t there a part about being naked for quite a while?
Sure, why the hell not.
Changing tack here. You know I read Anne Coulter’s column on this the other week and when she told of how her brother had done worse to her I understood completely.
Growing up we had a pool and I have a brother that is 12 years older. He darn near drowned me on many an occasion holding me under water, jumping in on top of me in the deep end. I don’t know how many gallons of water I’ve inhaled and swallowed during these incidents but I I’m pretty sure the terrorists had it easier. I believe this especially true since no water was allowed to enter their mouths or nostrils.
Right. We treat these terrorists like delicate flowers.
Your comment made me think of my own childhood. Let’s see. I was starved, sleep deprived, raped, raped with guns, psychologically tortured, and witnessed my pets being killed right in front of me. I didn’t even have information to give up.
I just had the funny thought that we could talk to the terrorists the way people have talked to me about my torturous experiences. “Maybe that kind of abuse is why you’re so creative and artistic.”
Wow, we could have the next Monet or Sylvia Plath at Gitmo!
We could also tell the terrorists that this experience is “G_d’s way of bringing them closer to him” Like they claimed in church today. If someone takes you up on your offer, you might find your spiritual side right?
The fact that anybody is volunteering puts waterboarding into a league well below torture. One does not volunteer for the rack, hot irons, or other known forms of torture and we certainly don’t practice such on our own special forces to ensure they are prepared to face such things in the event of capture as we train them with waterboarding.
It’s unfortunate previously recognized term.
Exactly true. I would not volunteer to have bamboo shoved under my fingernails, to be shocked with electricity, to be on the rack, burned, or other things. But I am willing to be waterboarded at least 183 times as KSM was.
No takers yet.
I underwent far rigorous challenges during my fraternity Hell Week than what I’ve read these supposedly tough terrorists had done to them in Gitmo.
Sleeping outside during the coldest night in the past century; sleep depravation; tiny food portions; screaming and taunts; physical tests while exhausted; and psychological tricks.
Please. If the guys in Gitmo can’t handle this, we need a better grade of terrorist.
Yeah, I want to be waterboarded too just so I can tell the liberals that it wasn’t torture, the terrorists are just sissies. I remember when I was at Fort Lewis and we did NBC training (Nuclear, Biological, Chemical) me and a feww of the guys asked if we could go back into the gas chamber to see who could last the longest. I tell this story because alot of people freak out in there, but if you have the right mental attitude you can endure darn near anything. It’s not torture, the terrorists are just panty waists.
PatrioticAmerican,
I agree. I’m re-reading the 9/11 Commission Report which is actually quite detailed, and I’m astonished that anyone cares that we splash KSM with water. The man is a terrorist! And he had the nerve to complain that he was being tortured? Gee, what do you think its called when you’re hurtling toward a building in a plane at 500 miles per hour? Or having to choose between flames behind you and open space – 3/4 of a mile down – in front of you? Or, by the way, being stabbed like some of the flight attendants were on 9/11? Or having to call your mom and tell her you’ve been hijacked and you love her?
THAT is torture.
Again, I restate my proposition: I will happily undertake waterboarding AND the same stuff that we put Gitmo detainees through, such as being forced to maintain a position for up to two hours, being locked in a room with a caterpillar, and being forced to wear pictures of 9/11 victims around my neck.
Bring it.
Oh, Travis, I’ll even add a round in the gas chamber! In fact, oh my gosh, I should just make a reality show of it!
I’ll live full-time as a GITMO terrorist for, say, a month. For a whole month, I agree to be waterboarded every day, forced to endure a gas chamber, be in rooms with caterpillars, etc. AND AND AND, to put this whole “torture” meme to rest once and for all, I WILL EVEN UNDERGO THE ABU GRAIHB TREATMENT!
Let me be clear: I am not into pain. I do not like kink. I am NOT in any way equipped or trained to deal with any of this. But I’m willing to do it! I am sincere, honest, and earnest about this.
So the offer is now: a whole month of living like a Gitmo detainee, including waterboarding, living with insects, being gassed, interrogated about whatever the military wants to interrogate me about (I’m sure they can find something to shame me to hell), naked pyramids, maintaining uncomfortable positions, and whatever “mental torture” my interrogators can inflict by making me stand on a black box and hold an electrical wire with a hood over my face.
Any takers? Anyone?
A conservative Wet T-Shirt contest dosnt involve dumb ideas like tree hugging
Send me your stats and a pic. I’ll come up with the “details” of your torture…
Just kiddin. But not knowing whether your captor was mentally stable, or what the limits of what he might do, would definitely add to the effectiveness of the enhanced interrogations. Ooops. Too late for that. Now they no, no caterpillars, no waterboarding, three hots and a cot…
*sigh* I thought there would be pictures…
Oh well. When there is pictures, let me know.
In all seriousness…be careful. If this is something that you are going to go through with, it will most certainly not be pleasant, and can be dangerous. So please, be very careful.
But of course…send me the pictures of you all wet.
hendo
No, I mean, I am only volunteering to do it with somebody who actually does this for a living. A military or CIA dude. Not some random guy off the internet. Noooo thank you!
I’m afraid a lot of us might be accepting the premise that “something I wouldn’t want to have happen to me” = “torture”. I wouldn’t want to be waterboarded, I wouldn’t want to go to prison, I wouldn’t want to be interogated as a murder suspect under the proverbial hot lights and everything. Whether people would be willing to have something done to them or not doesn’t determine whether it’s torture or not. People volunteer to be crucified, that dosen’t mean it wouldn’t be torture to crucify prisoners.
Look. I said I’d put you in a room with a caterpillar, okay??
Tracey, I took this picture today: http://twitpic.com/60fe4
I thought wow, that’s a scary contrail, going straight down like that. Just now I got home and looked at it. I did NOT see that when I snapped the pic. I think you’ll like it. : )
Reminds me of the day I saw that photo from Abu Ghraib, the one of the detainee with the woman’s panties on his head. My FIRST thought was “Gee, it’s been thirty years since I’ve seen someone wear a pledge helmet properly”. For real torture, though, look at the videos of people’s head being sawn off. I’m sure there are as-yet unreleased home movies from the late Uday & Quday Hussein’s personal film library that re-define the Marquis de Sade’s personal vices as mere ‘eccentricities’. Heck, had I remotely suspected those detainees (captured en flagrante delecto, I might add) knew of any imminent plot for WMD action against us, I’d be in line to quiz them with a blowtorch & bolt cutters.
Dave,
Do you think the passengers on the four hijacked flights would have chosen to have that done to them? Or even, for the sake of argument, let’s remove the death. Let’s say they just have to be on the plane, and the plane flies at 500 miles toward a building (or the ground) and then magically averts it. Do you think the time on the plane, watching the hijackers stab flight attendants, being told there is a bomb on board, and being flown by a not-so great pilot (and my God, the case of the Flight 93 people…) is torture? Would they have been willing to go through that *even if it did not include dying*?
There was an article in Vanity Fair last year in which the (liberal) author volunteered to undergo waterboarding so he could assert that it is torture. (http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2008/08/hitchens200808)
He said that the people who conducted the waterboarding required him to sign a waiver: ““Water boarding” is a potentially dangerous activity in which the participant can receive serious and permanent (physical, emotional and psychological) injuries and even death, including injuries and death due to the respiratory and neurological systems of the body.” His point was to emphasize the scariness of this document.
I thought: Wow, that’s almost as scary as the waiver I had to sign before my daughter could take horseback riding lessons. Except my daughter’s waiver didn’t bother with the namby-pamby “emotional injuries”, but went straight to permanent crippling injuries and death.
Perhaps if waterboarding is outlawed, we can force terrorist prisoners to undergo horseback riding lessons.
Mancow Muller did it on the air last week on WLS-AM in Chicago. Here’s the video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUkj9pjx3H0
I’m late I know… Anyway, if I’m not mistaken, Demi Moore was actually waterboarded during the filming of “GI Jane”. I say if it’s okay for one of Hollywood’s finest, then it ain’t f’ing torture.
Bravo Cara; once again you’re out front showing the left for what hipocrites they are.
BTW, how is everything? I hope you’re doing better. Love ya!
Watched Mancow, he lasted 5 seconds….
Did you watch it Cara? What do you think?
(btw, you know that Dave M up there isn’t me…)
Cara-
If you have not yet found a suitable way to accomplish your project, I can introduce you to experts in this area.
I honor your intrepid perspective.