No matter how shitty your day is going, just remember: you’re not Cara Ellison. It could be worse!
First was the sex tape. Hell yes we listened to it. As far as CEO sex tapes, this is the hottest one in recent memory. It’s no Pam Anderson, but what do you expect from a HBS grad? I am only disturbed to think the guy who was making her squeal like that was the former NSA Director.
So Cara Ellison wakes up to discover her heavy breathing is all over the world, then she’s indicted (apparently in the middle of her big finale). Comes home to Houston and gets the shit kicked out of her by the FBI live and on camera.
Well the good news is, with that tape of the FBI smacking their bitch up, it’s unlikely any Texas guy on the jury is gonna convict her. Of course, after hearing that tape, none of them would have convicted her anyway.
