Catcalls Turn Women Into Crybabies

CNN posted an article about the impact of catcalls on women. Holly Kearl, a master’s candidate in Women’s Studies, conducted an email survey of 225 women on the subject. She found that 98 percent of respondents experienced some form of “street harassment.”

A few thoughts immediately spring to mind. The first is, if somebody sends me an email and asks if I’ve ever been a victim of “street harassment”, I probably would not even bother to hit reply and ask, “What do you mean by ’street harrassment’?” I’d simply hit delete. In other words, it seems like the only kind of people who would respond are those who feel victimized in this way. I’m not sure this is, strictly speaking, good research. But it gets better: the definition of street harassment: “For me, anyone who interrupts my personal space to objectify me or make me feel uncomfortable or threatened is harassing me,” says Holly Kearl.

Oh lordy. I assume she’s sworn off the New York subway. That will make you feel uncomfortable. And probably objectified. And threatened. But anyway, what sort of guy “interrupts personal space” to catcall women? Don’t they tend to just do that from construction sites? Or do they walk right up to the woman and say something? The CNN article quotes a woman who made a documentary film on the subject who says that when confronted, some of the men literally ran away. So which set of information is true?

But this is a serious issue: the mere feeling of impending doom is enough to be victimized? Don’t women have an obligation to be strong enough of mind to ignore the ramblings of strangers?

Catcalls are generally compliments - not threats - so what law is being violated? What would Kearl propose happen to men (or women) who say something to somebody who doesn’t necessarily want to hear it?

I recoil at stories like this because the bottom line is always impinging on someone else’s freedom. Even if he’s a jackass he has the right to yell in the street - just like homeless people who haven’t taken their medication, or a couple arguing before dinner. To be offended or feel victimized by this is to show an enormous lack of sophistication about the world. If this offends you, volunteer at the pediatric burn unit at your local hospital. Then tell me you feel like life is unfair because somebody yelled “hey blondie!” outside the window of a battered red pickup.

Still, if they insist on being hurt by something so minor, inconsequential, and meaningless as this, I suggest that next time somebody yells from a construction site, keep walking.

Andrew Weissmann Talks For Money

Andrew Weissmann is discussing Enron today at Manhattanville College. Something called “The Center for Ethics at Manhattanville” is presenting the speech. The cost is $35.

A speech on ethics…by this guy? By the man who is widely acknowledged, even by the Houston Chronicle, to have been guilty of egregious prosecutorial misconduct?

My prediction is that these sorts of talks will eventually diminish as Enron executives begin emerging from prison and going on their own speaking tours and some of the truth about the prosecutions emerge. I am looking forward to Andy Fastow’s and Ken Rice’s for instance. But I think the willingness for people to listen to Weissmann, Berkowitz, Hueston, and the rest is will expire as more questions arise about the conduct of the Enron prosecution.

Broadband Three Headed Back To Trial

Three former Enron broadband division executives will again stand trial late this year.

U.S. District Judge Vanessa Gilmore ruled yesterday that former division CEO Joe Hirko and software executive Rex Shelby will be retried Nov. 3, followed by former top broadband strategist Scott Yeager in mid-January.

“Back-to-back _ finish one and start the other one,” Gilmore said.

The trio was first tried in 2005 in a three-month case that ended with jurors acquitting each of a handful of counts, and hung on dozens more.

The government later filed new, shorter indictments that still allege they overstated the broadband division’s capabilities to please Wall Street and enrich themselves from selling stock inflated by the hype. The defendants maintain the technology that fueled Enron’s broadband network worked, though it was being implemented in phases.

In March all three men learned they lost their appeals to the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to throw out all or most remaining charges against them. Their lawyers appeared before Gilmore today to schedule the retrials.

Defense attorneys said today that all three defendants will appeal the 5th Circuit ruling to the U.S. Supreme Court. If granted a hearing, they will ask Gilmore to put the retrials on hold pending that outcome.

Things Seen In New York

I love New York.  I love it because it’s alive, and unexpected, and there’s a huge collision of ethnic groups and cultures.  With so many influences, sometimes its difficult to tell when its being ironic.  Like in this picture - who knows if they’re trying to be funny?  As you can see in all the shirts behind this one, it’s a Christian store.  Jesus Christ as far as the eye can see.  Yet… Everybody loves a drunk girl?   Wha….?  

Oh I love New York.

 

How Do We Stand It?

It’s difficult for me to read the news.  I can’t bear the news in Burma, or the news in China.  Our lives in America seem very different from those lives.   Ten thousand dead…from a natural disaster?  It boggles the mind.  Even our worst, Hurricane Katrina, was mild compared to ten thousand dead.  And a hundred thousand dead in Burma?   How is that even possible?  How do we process that? 

I guess that’s the point: we don’t.

Since you can’t pick one person or one story out of the masses, I guess you pray for everybody.  You tuck in and just send a good thought, or a few dollars, to places you’ve never been, to people whose lives will be devastated forevermore.

It’s inadequate.  Blameless, but inadequate.   There’s no way to fix it, to reverse the damage, return buildings, restore life.   

After you pray and send money, then what?

I don’t know what to do.

Leaving Enron [FICTION]

Tuesday, August 14, 2001

The news flew down the hallways and corridors, from the C-suite to the trading desks, leaving a wake of stunned disbelief in the seas of cubicles and offices. At 11:45 that morning, Jeff Skilling announced his resignation as CEO of Enron. Gossip and speculation flew back and forth, up and down the fifty floors of Enron Tower at 1400 Smith Street, the questions becoming increasingly fervent. Had something happened? Why was he leaving? What was going on?

Employees were curious, but the most significant impact of the announcement wouldn’t be felt until just after 4pm – when the markets closed. Mark Palmer, Enron’s head PR man, issued a public press release. Seconds later, as the news hit the wires, an all-out firestorm of controversy slammed through Houston, sending massive shockwaves directly to Wall Street. Analysts and pundits took to the airwaves to express opinions about the unexpected departure. Some questioned whether the 47-year old celeb-CEO could transfer his market-making magic to other industries. Other analysts wondered if the markets that Skilling had created could survive without him.

Jeff Skilling, the subject of the swirling chatter, was the very picture of calm composure. Outside the plate-glass windows, the Texas sun shone, leaving a wash of light over his almost bare desk. Fifty stories below, insulated by the blue glass, came the muffled hum of Houston traffic. The dull silence of his office was a stark contrast to the chatter in the corridors. So many people had come into his office throughout the day to ask questions, offer their best wishes, or merely ask is it true that he finally had to shut his door.

In solitude, he cleaned out his desk. He took his personal belongings: the platinum framed portrait of his children, a Tiffany cut-crystal sphere which was a gift from a head of state, an onyx and teak clock he’d found in one of his trips to Africa. He did not take any paperwork or computer files. He left with only the trappings of his position, the satisfaction he earned from his fourteen years of service, and nothing else. He was simply time to go.

Skilling had written his first resignation letter on April 30, 2001, just three months into his tenure as CEO. He never sent that letter, but by then he had already begun to project his life five, ten years into the future and he saw a bleak protraction of the present: the long hours spent away from his family, the constant pressure to be more and better, the strangely displaced sensation he felt increasingly often as he wondered where he belonged in the industry.

Three months later, in July, Skilling voiced his unhappiness to Ken Lay. The discussion resulted in Skilling reluctantly agreeing to stay. In early August, though, he’d made up his mind to leave. It was final this time: his departure was no longer up for discussion. He had several offers to teach, and he wanted to travel. Mostly, though, he wanted to spend time with his family.

At six o’clock, Ken Lay invited him in to a conference call with analysts who were clamoring for information. What did his resignation mean for Enron leadership? For the future of Enron? Who would replace him? What was happening at Enron?

As his last act of an officer at Enron, he participated in the discussion. It lasted about twenty minutes, and then suddenly, to his great shock, there was literally nothing left to do.

On the executive fourth floor of the Enron Center south parking garage, he found his black Mercedes Benz parked directly by the elevator in his reserved place. He slid behind the wheel. Leaving the garage, he swung onto Smith Street. In his rearview mirror, he glanced back at the gorgeous glass and steel tower, bittersweet satisfaction filling his chest.

He looked forward again and slid on his sunglasses.

Everything was going to be great. Better than great. He was going to find a new creative outlet, and Enron would continue to be the most innovative, most successful company in the history of capitalism. He’d put the company on a solid foundation, bequeathed both a sustainable culture and business. It would survive without him.

He hit the pedal, blast the air conditioner, and turned up the volume of the radio as he sped onto Allen Parkway, which would take him home to River Oaks. His new life was spread out before him, shining there, on the horizon – already almost within reach.

How To Be A Man

* Eat meat. Real men eat meat; you need the protein and iron. It makes your muscles stronger and there’s something very sexxxy and primitive about watching a guy eat a steak.

* Shave your face. We want to see your face and we can’t see through the fuzz. Plus, it feels better when you kiss us.

* We secretly do want to control every aspect of your life. We don’t want to admit it though, so maybe you could just keep pretending you don’t know that.

* Work out. A man doing pushups…. nothing sexier. NOTHING.

* We will expect you to defend us if someone breaks into our home. You may have to kill somebody. If you’re not prepared for that, please tell us during the dating phase, before we sleep with you, so we can reject you and find someone else with better instincts.

* We know you like us to look nice enough that your friends are thinking “I’d do her”. In order for us to know we’re there, it wouldn’t kill you to say we look nice. By doing so, it ensures you’ll get some play later. Everybody wins.

* You don’t have to make more money than us, but it would be great if you’re a genius with balancing the checkbook.

* Know the directions. I’m not saying you have to stop and ask for directions.  It’s very hot when a guy is lost and finds his way all by himself.  Women love logical brains. Don’t let bitchy women bully you into asking for directions, or into doing anything else you don’t want to do.

* Let us hit your biceps as much as we want. We’re fascinated by them because no matter how much we work out, ours aren’t going to be as big and sexy as yours. It’s comforting to just ball up our fist and gently punch that really tight muscle. It reminds us how big and strong you are.

* No male sarongs. It’s just wrong. Don’t wear skirts and don’t carry purses (even by any other name, ie, the “European Carryall”).

* We snoop. Like dogs on a fresh warm kill, we snoop like the infowhores we are. Be a gentleman and remove anything that might offend us.

* Own a gun. Or at least a baseball bat. Or be as big as Vin Diesel. We want to feel safe.

* Keep your hair short. It looks better (even Johnny Depp recently buzzed his) and it’s much more masculine.

* Do not put up with nagging. From anyone. It’s emasculating and it never accomplishes anything. (Ladies, either learn to live with it or shut up.)

* Do not even get into a discussion about the toilet seat. What you do in the bathroom is your own private business.

* Valentine’s Day is a great time for flowers and stuff but we know you’re doing it because of peer pressure. Better to bring the flowers on a really bad day to cheer us up, and then doing something else entirely for Valentine’s Day.

* Be nice to other women but don’t flirt. It makes us cranky and you can’t get away with it because you’re pretty much under global surveillance (yes, even you). You do it and we’ll find out and it’ll be a nasty evening. Just be a gentleman.

* Do not let your girl demand every spare minute you have. She might like it in the short run, but eventually she’ll resent you for not having a life.

* Don’t try to have sex with a girl before the third date, but make sure you let her know you want to. (She wants to feel wanted, respected and desired but not pressured).

* Play a sport. We want to be able to be really proud when you take off your shirt while playing soccer in the park. We like to see how sportsmanlike you really are. It’s very cute watching you handle an unfair ruling of some kind, or even one you just don’t agree with.

* We want every girl to want you, and only us to have you.

* Don’t be afraid of bugs.

* Help us with unweildly grocery bags, open the door for us (every single time), and say please and thank you. Manners are important. But be careful not to be her slave. You’re a man, not a servant. You’re supposed to protect us, love us, and care for us, but not be so worshipful that your body no longer produces testosterone.

* Expect your girl to service you in the bedroom any time you want. Seriously. Sometimes you just have to grab her and tell her she’s going to whether she wants to or not. But do it nicely. If she complains, remind her that she’s so gorgeous that you can’t help yourself.

How To Be A Woman

[The lists have been wildly popular, so I thought I would add two retro RTG posts: how to be a woman and how to be a man.]

* Do not nag him. He doesn’t need to hear your whiney little voice complaining about something he doesn’t want to change. Just sssshhh!

* Have a life. The second you start to miss yoga classes because of him, he’s got you, and you absolutely must not let him think he has you until he asks you to marry him. Men really are motivated by the chase.

* Dress like a girl. They like us because we’re girls, not miniature boys. Skirts are so popular in spring and summer for a reason. Not only are they much cooler than pants, it gives boys ideas. They imagine that the easier access means something.

* Don’t fall into the habit of wearing sweats and a t-shirt around the house. It can be cute but if it’s all he sees you in, he’s going to start looking at the Hooters girls a little too carefully.

* Never, ever talk badly about your man. Whatever fight you had, it’s between you two. Don’t tell your girlfriends, your boss, or God forbid, your mother.

* Don’t embarrass him in front of his friends. There’s a social order to everything and if you bitch at him in front of his friends, it emasculates him. Treat him like the prince he is, even if you’re seething with rage.

* Expect him to be kind, generous, loving, gentle and sweet, but don’t expect him to be happy about running your errands every day for a month. In other words, don’t take advantage of men’s naturally generous natures.

* Men don’t like complainers, especially if there is nothing to be done about it. Guys want to help, and if you give him a problem he can’t solve (ie, you have blisters and there’s no bandaids and you refuse to take off your shoes) it makes him feel like a failure.

* PMS is not an excuse to be mean to him. Don’t be short with him or be rude. Nicely tell him you feel bad and you’re much more likely to get what you need.

* Don’t dress like a hooker, unless he likes it.

* Work out. They like our bods for a reason. Give them lots of reasons.

* Don’t give up your life. He likes you because you’re interesting, so stay interesting. It’s tempting, especially in the early days of a new relationship, to blow off your friends and your other social obligations, but in the long run that could be disasterous. You need outside stimulation. Kiss him, tell him you’ll see him in a few hours, and leave.

* Seduce him. Often. He’ll feel awesome and that can only be good for both of you.

* Do not be a strident, anti-man voice screeching at him that he’s oppressing you. Men don’t like women who don’t like them. They also don’t like seeing their babies aborted but most of them are so terrified of the whole thing, they go along with it to keep you happy. Their fears are justified, but they need bigger balls.

* Let him drive.

* Let him lead. Not all the time, but most of the time. Especially if it’s somebody you respect, whose life you admire.

* Expect the very best. More often than not, the guy will respond with exactly that.

Things A Boy Should Know To Become A Man

- Travel light. Know what you need, try not to need much.

- Always have a leatherman.

- Be respectful to people, because you never know.

- Avoid owning stuff, but own quality stuff.

- Learn to handle your liquor.

- Be an excellent driver.

- Lie, cheat and steal, but only and always with bad people.

- Develop an excellent skill.

- Be well rounded. Learn lots of things.

- Never shrink from unique experiences. They pay for themselves. The goal is to have lots of stories.

- Learn to control: a car, a utility vehicle like a tractor or a backhoe, a firearm, a camera.

- Be wealthy but don’t be attached to it. Be poor but don’t let it tarnish you. Stay neither.

- Drive a stick shift and do it well. If you can do that, you can drive anything, and that comes in handy.

- Be someone your friends can trust utterly, and your enemies despise like the fires of hell.

- Move around. See different places.

- At some point, become an athlete.

15 Woman Skills

To complement the list of Man Skills, I present an abridged list of woman skills:

- Bake a pie

- Change a tire

- Balance a checkbook

- Earn enough money to afford the lifestyle she wants

- Cook Thanksgiving dinner for 12 without losing her mind

- Choose a little black dress that looks great on her

- Mix a cocktail

- Set up her computer, dvd player, tv, and iPod

- Negotiate the purchase of something over $10,000

- Know the stats of her wedding set

- Know the difference between charm and manipulation

- Plan a vacation by herself, for herself

- Diplomatically make it clear to her neighbor on a plane that she’s not interested in talk

- Accept a compliment

-Gracefully decline, and gracefully accept